The importance of self care in co-dependency

I recently read a book called "Codependent No More" and discovered that I have been a codependent for quite some time.  In fact, in reading this book, I saw the traits of codependency in myself, as well as in many other people.  As a codependent, I often fall last on my priority list.  I have been fighting hard for the last few years to make a change in this department; and while I have made progress, there is more progress to be made still - and now that I have a name for my issue, it kind of helps point me in the right direction to find more progress; but it's also pretty frustrating honestly, because the things that make me a codependent directly impact my abilities to care for myself. 
Symptoms include, but aren't limited to people-pleasing, poor boundaries, caretaking, obsession, dysfunctional communication, and problems with intimacy. 
Self care has grown increasingly more important to me in the recent years.  While I struggle with my codependent tendencies to help others before myself; I am re-wiring my brain at the same time to remember to put myself first!  Here's what that has started to look like:

A few years ago I got back into a healthy fitness routine.  I began spending more time doing things like yoga, hiking, running, swimming, dancing, and other types of workouts.  I learned that I store emotions and feelings IN my body.  I store them in my muscles, and when they are finally release; it feels pretty overwhelming.  I have cried in the middle of runs, for no reason, many times.  My body is able to let go of certain emotions that I try to ignore, or put off, while I am running or being active.  Any activities involving punching and kicking are also very effective for me to get out some of those negative, built-up emotions.  For a few years now, this has been my main form of self care; but I began realizing it's not quite enough. 

About two years ago I started reading more personal development books.  I think I have maybe read one book in the last two years which was not personal development.  (It was Harry Potter, duh) I really have grown thirsty for these types of books.  Reading has always been a special self care activity for me; and personal development books are ALL about that self care.  I spend at least 30 minutes per day reading personal development. 

As an introvert it's also very important for me to have a healthy balance of alone time vs. time with others.  I used to feel bad telling people I couldn't meet with them... Now I am literally just so busy I don't have time to make everyone happy.  Unfortunately this means I have lost a lot of time with friends.  It's not because I don't want to see them, but when you have three jobs, you work in an office with a lot of bubbly personalities, and the main focus of your job is to help others - well it doesn't seem too hard to figure out why I need that alone time.  It's crucial.  If I don't get alone time, it makes me resentful, bitter, and mean - which makes it very hard to do my jobs. 

Self care is a journey, just like health and fitness, education, career building... Any kind of journey you embark on.  It takes practice for me, but as I have been practicing more self care, I am noticing the amazing benefits that come with it - which motivates me to keep doing it.  I'm curious to see what other types of self care will unfold for me as I explore this practice. 

C R E A T E C O M M U N I T Y

As I get older I feel a desire to simultaneously find my "people" or as I often call them, my tribe; accompanied by the desire to be left alone to be simply by myself.  I really do enjoy spending time alone.  A LOT.  But there is something to be said about finding YOUR PEOPLE.  There's something about certain people that really just makes them easier for me to be around.  I always thought I preferred doing things alone, but when I ran the Autumn Leaves 50/50 last year, I realized how much I really needed people.  The right people. 
As I was running the same course in loops, I began to look for people I knew as I passed through the Start/Finish line each lap.  My first time through I had hoped to see my boyfriend.  I never used to ask or invite people to come to these events.  I didn't want to be a burden, and I didn't want to invite them to come spend hours of their day waiting for me to return from my wild adventures.  It felt a little selfish to request that of someone; and now I know that it's something I need, so I need to find the right people to vibe with.  Having people there for me when I am pushed to my limits, when I need support, and when I am chasing my passion is not a selfish request.  It just needs to be requested from the right people. 
Of course, I'm much more than a runner, and there are many different activities and roles I play in my life.  Each hat I wear effects how I interact with people around me.  Just as my vibes can change depending what I'm doing, where I am, and who is around me; it attracts a different frequency from those around me.  As long as I am not getting in my own way, and mucking up my frequency I know I will attract the right people to me; but I have to start by putting myself out there, and making sure I am sending out positive vibes and good intentions for the right people to come. 
I feel like this works better than we realize it does.  Sometimes we just aren't paying enough attention; but when people enter, or leave your life (and I'm not talking about death, but growing apart, separating, breaking up, etc.) there's usually something larger at play.  Pay attention, wake up, and put yourself out there to see who in your community needs your connection, and what connections you are needing.  People are social by nature; even us introverts have our tribe.  We just have to wait for them to come. 

GROW

Growth is my number one core value, because I am always striving for it.  To me growth is truly inevitable; and resisting it can create some serious stress and unhappiness in one's life.  I have always embraced changing and growth as a natural part of life. When I have tried to fight and avoid it, it seems to cause problems, and add an insane amount of stress to my life.  Now I listen for those gentle nudges, and my "spidey senses" - and when I feel that nudge, I jump!  Growth is not always easy or fun; but I have learned to trust the process, which I think that makes me more adaptable and willing to grow even more. 
I enjoy doing many activities that promote my self growth.  As a long distance runner, I have spent a lot of time alone with myself, and I have learned countless things about myself during the time I spent alone in my own thoughts.  Many of the tools and skills I have acquired to deal with life and adulting I have learned from my time spent running.  When I'm not running, I am probably doing some other kind of workout, and if I'm not working out, I'm reading something.  You can always count on me to be reading more than two or three books at any given time... (usually more...)  When I'm driving I listen to audible rather than the radio or music; not because I don't enjoy music, but I am very focused on growth right now.  Any kind of training or continued education offered to me is eagerly devoured. 
Growth has always been my favorite core value, and it most likely always will be.  I will always strive to improve myself, because it's truly at the core of my being.  I will continue to submit myself for the Grow legend award every quarter until the award is mine; even though in my heart it's always been mine.